The Quotes Page
From the ashes of the old Quotes Page is born a new one ... younger, faster, and stronger, it will take the Internet by storm.
Good quotes are good times - Sushil
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Manisha, on tampons
(12:04:09) Manisha: i think we've been together long enough for me to leave things at your house
(12:04:14) Neil B: eep
(12:04:15) Neil B: Okay.
(12:04:22) Neil B: Next thing I know there'll be tampons in my bathroom.
(12:04:51) Manisha: lol your brother will probably use them as projectiles
(12:04:14) Neil B: eep
(12:04:15) Neil B: Okay.
(12:04:22) Neil B: Next thing I know there'll be tampons in my bathroom.
(12:04:51) Manisha: lol your brother will probably use them as projectiles
Dao, on getting crunk
(22:56:57) Daovonnaex: I'll bet New Orleans, when rebuilt, is going to suck
(22:57:10) Daovonnaex: They'll probably outlaw fun, like most other American cities
(22:57:59) Daovonnaex: I just have this sinking feeling that the unlimited drinking, unlimited strip clubs, public nudity, constant partying, constant gambling, and tolerated prostitution will no longer exist in the new New Orleans.
(22:58:15) Daovonnaex: Meaning I'm going to have to go to fucking Macau from now on to get that kind of experience.
(22:57:10) Daovonnaex: They'll probably outlaw fun, like most other American cities
(22:57:59) Daovonnaex: I just have this sinking feeling that the unlimited drinking, unlimited strip clubs, public nudity, constant partying, constant gambling, and tolerated prostitution will no longer exist in the new New Orleans.
(22:58:15) Daovonnaex: Meaning I'm going to have to go to fucking Macau from now on to get that kind of experience.
Dao, on Swedish
(00:00:53) Daovonnaex: Sort of like I levy my Swedish to tap the enormous Swedish market
(00:01:33) Neil B: How's your Swedish?
(00:01:45) Daovonnaex: Perfect
(00:02:01) Daovonnaex: Of course, I always speak Swedish at home
(00:02:07) Daovonnaex: And I read Swedish books
(00:02:26) Daovonnaex: My writing in Swedish isn't as sublimely perfect as my writing in English, though.
(00:02:50) Neil B: Do you have some shreds of modesty in Swedish?
(00:03:10) Daovonnaex: I'm pretty sure personality is fairly independent of language.
(00:01:33) Neil B: How's your Swedish?
(00:01:45) Daovonnaex: Perfect
(00:02:01) Daovonnaex: Of course, I always speak Swedish at home
(00:02:07) Daovonnaex: And I read Swedish books
(00:02:26) Daovonnaex: My writing in Swedish isn't as sublimely perfect as my writing in English, though.
(00:02:50) Neil B: Do you have some shreds of modesty in Swedish?
(00:03:10) Daovonnaex: I'm pretty sure personality is fairly independent of language.
Me, on confusing emails
(22:19:42) Neil B: My neilbanerjee.com account wanted a username so I gave it banerfee
(22:19:47) Neil B: And now the default email is banerfee@neilbanerjee.com
(22:19:47) Neil B: And now the default email is banerfee@neilbanerjee.com
Manisha, on the French
MagikMaker85: So do the French smell bad or is that just a common misconception?
spark eternity: lol no they smell great, cos they use a lot of perfume to cover up the lack of showering ;-)
spark eternity: lol no they smell great, cos they use a lot of perfume to cover up the lack of showering ;-)
Dilks, on abortion
[After Judge Roberts' nomination to the US Supreme Court]
ConfusedBowman: goodbye abortion?
oddilks: hello coat hanger
ConfusedBowman: goodbye abortion?
oddilks: hello coat hanger
Dan, on understanding women
(12:34:22) Dan: i think she's doing the standard female "make guy feel really bad even though you forgive him" thing
(12:34:28) Dan: its like page 45 of the manual
(12:34:37) Neil B: Oh I just read the SparkNotes for that part.
(12:34:48) Dan: they really dont convey the meaning too well
(12:34:28) Dan: its like page 45 of the manual
(12:34:37) Neil B: Oh I just read the SparkNotes for that part.
(12:34:48) Dan: they really dont convey the meaning too well
Aditi, on foreskins
(14:28:59) Aditi: how are you
(14:29:03) Neil B: Pretty well
(14:29:08) Neil B: How are you? How are your foreskins doing?
(14:29:17) Aditi: theyre doing just fine :)
(14:29:26) Aditi: i got a brown foreskin today
(14:29:29) Aditi: so i thought it was indian
(14:29:32) Aditi: and i got excited
(14:29:33) Aditi: but
(14:29:38) Aditi: it was african american
(14:29:41) Aditi: so yah :-/
(14:29:03) Neil B: Pretty well
(14:29:08) Neil B: How are you? How are your foreskins doing?
(14:29:17) Aditi: theyre doing just fine :)
(14:29:26) Aditi: i got a brown foreskin today
(14:29:29) Aditi: so i thought it was indian
(14:29:32) Aditi: and i got excited
(14:29:33) Aditi: but
(14:29:38) Aditi: it was african american
(14:29:41) Aditi: so yah :-/
Meghan, on getting rich quick
Meghan6789: yeah 2 months and 100 bucks
FirstMilBy21: 1 month
Meghan6789: at this rate you'll be firstthouby21
FirstMilBy21: 1 month
Meghan6789: at this rate you'll be firstthouby21
Dan and me, on downloading music
(11:45:28) Neil B: Hey, I just paid to download music
(11:45:31) Neil B: I feel ... strangely good about myself
(11:45:37) Dan: ew
(11:45:42) Dan: now you have the HIV virus
(11:45:47) Dan: thats how you get it you know
(11:45:53) Neil B: Oh, shit
(11:46:04) Neil B: Health class told me it was from something gross like penis in vagina
(11:46:06) Dan: did you wear latex gloves?
(11:46:16) Neil B: ...I knew I was forgetting something! Argh!
(11:45:31) Neil B: I feel ... strangely good about myself
(11:45:37) Dan: ew
(11:45:42) Dan: now you have the HIV virus
(11:45:47) Dan: thats how you get it you know
(11:45:53) Neil B: Oh, shit
(11:46:04) Neil B: Health class told me it was from something gross like penis in vagina
(11:46:06) Dan: did you wear latex gloves?
(11:46:16) Neil B: ...I knew I was forgetting something! Argh!
Meghan, on the benefits of the Quotes Page
(23:34:11) Meghan: i don't like bad taste
(23:34:17) Meghan: ..it tastes bad
(23:34:26) Neil B: Don't steal my sense of humor.
(23:34:28) Neil B: :-P
(23:34:33) Meghan: that was a neil joke
(23:34:38) Neil B: I know
(23:34:44) Meghan: you've rubbed off on me
(23:34:53) Meghan: (don't say anything about rubbing on me)
(23:35:54) Meghan: or rubbing off
(23:35:58) Meghan: or rubbing in general
(23:36:03) Meghan: god i have to stop reading the quotes page
(23:36:44) Meghan: it's frying my brain
(23:34:17) Meghan: ..it tastes bad
(23:34:26) Neil B: Don't steal my sense of humor.
(23:34:28) Neil B: :-P
(23:34:33) Meghan: that was a neil joke
(23:34:38) Neil B: I know
(23:34:44) Meghan: you've rubbed off on me
(23:34:53) Meghan: (don't say anything about rubbing on me)
(23:35:54) Meghan: or rubbing off
(23:35:58) Meghan: or rubbing in general
(23:36:03) Meghan: god i have to stop reading the quotes page
(23:36:44) Meghan: it's frying my brain
Sam, on The Island
(00:35:32) Sam: like, how it was raining - INSIDE THE RANDOM PSUEDOWOMB FARM - just so Scarlett would be wet
(00:35:43) Sam: part of me was like, "Rain, wha? This is retarded."
(00:35:56) Sam: But like, the other part was like "Ooooooooooohpretty."
(00:35:59) Neil B: lol
(00:37:16) Neil B: It was raining for moisture purposes
(00:37:22) Neil B: Things need to be wet.
(00:37:27) Sam: Yeah, like Scarlett Johannson
(00:35:43) Sam: part of me was like, "Rain, wha? This is retarded."
(00:35:56) Sam: But like, the other part was like "Ooooooooooohpretty."
(00:35:59) Neil B: lol
(00:37:16) Neil B: It was raining for moisture purposes
(00:37:22) Neil B: Things need to be wet.
(00:37:27) Sam: Yeah, like Scarlett Johannson
Dan, on good porn
(01:55:19) Dan: i saw a porn once where the guy is like im here to fix your toilet show me where it is
(01:55:29) Dan: then the camera cuts out and theyre in the bedroom and he's getting head
(01:55:34) Dan: i was confused
(01:55:40) Neil B: lol nice
(01:55:53) Dan: the whole plumber thing seemed unnecessary
(01:56:16) Dan: or at least they could have done a "Maybe i'll just inspect your plumbing baby!"
(01:56:24) Dan: i mean a one sentence transition and you got it
(01:56:38) Neil B: Yeah.
(01:56:41) Neil B: Should be a law- one semester of college English required to write a porn
(01:57:20) Dan: i think they should incorporate new professions really
(01:57:33) Neil B: Name one.
(01:57:37) Neil B: They've done them all.
(01:57:44) Dan: umm
(01:57:54) Dan: chief justice of the supreme court
(01:59:06) Dan: they they could do stuff like "My cock is unconstitutional, oh yeah you like that baby im going to hit your vagina like a poorly written law that violates the 15th amendment!"
(01:59:33) Dan: i say thats way cooler than "fuck my cock with your pussy"
(01:55:29) Dan: then the camera cuts out and theyre in the bedroom and he's getting head
(01:55:34) Dan: i was confused
(01:55:40) Neil B: lol nice
(01:55:53) Dan: the whole plumber thing seemed unnecessary
(01:56:16) Dan: or at least they could have done a "Maybe i'll just inspect your plumbing baby!"
(01:56:24) Dan: i mean a one sentence transition and you got it
(01:56:38) Neil B: Yeah.
(01:56:41) Neil B: Should be a law- one semester of college English required to write a porn
(01:57:20) Dan: i think they should incorporate new professions really
(01:57:33) Neil B: Name one.
(01:57:37) Neil B: They've done them all.
(01:57:44) Dan: umm
(01:57:54) Dan: chief justice of the supreme court
(01:59:06) Dan: they they could do stuff like "My cock is unconstitutional, oh yeah you like that baby im going to hit your vagina like a poorly written law that violates the 15th amendment!"
(01:59:33) Dan: i say thats way cooler than "fuck my cock with your pussy"
Ankit and me, on head
(20:21:26) Neil B: Fine, flip your coin.
(20:21:43) Ankit: lol
(20:21:54) Ankit: head
(20:22:01) Neil B: lol head
(20:22:19) Neil B: That's good times.
(20:22:23) Ankit: hahahaha
(20:22:37) Neil B: Sometimes you even lol during head because it's great.
(20:21:43) Ankit: lol
(20:21:54) Ankit: head
(20:22:01) Neil B: lol head
(20:22:19) Neil B: That's good times.
(20:22:23) Ankit: hahahaha
(20:22:37) Neil B: Sometimes you even lol during head because it's great.
Avish and me, on gambling
(18:33:15) Avish: i have a major gambling problem
(18:34:16) Neil B: Are you losing lots of money?
(18:34:36) Avish: well
(18:34:42) Avish: i made 1900 yesterday
(18:34:45) Neil B: That's not a problem
(18:34:48) Neil B: That's a solution.
(18:34:16) Neil B: Are you losing lots of money?
(18:34:36) Avish: well
(18:34:42) Avish: i made 1900 yesterday
(18:34:45) Neil B: That's not a problem
(18:34:48) Neil B: That's a solution.
Jeremy, on clarifications
(00:32:18) Neil B: Simultaneously?
(00:32:40) Jeremy31337: No
(00:32:42) Jeremy31337: Concurrently.
(00:32:40) Jeremy31337: No
(00:32:42) Jeremy31337: Concurrently.
Me, on dealing with children
(01:23:55) Neil B: How old are said [people who stole her money] ?
(01:24:01) Sarah: Twelve.
(01:24:03) Sarah: Thirteen.
(01:24:09) Neil B: I have some two-by-fours and a shovel.
(01:24:16) Neil B: We can fuck them up and sell their organs.
(01:24:23) Sarah: Aww, my hero! *swoons*
(01:24:01) Sarah: Twelve.
(01:24:03) Sarah: Thirteen.
(01:24:09) Neil B: I have some two-by-fours and a shovel.
(01:24:16) Neil B: We can fuck them up and sell their organs.
(01:24:23) Sarah: Aww, my hero! *swoons*
John, on going to Church
(21:24:50) John: How many parents do you think are happy to hear about their children losing their virginity?
(21:24:59) John: Especially if it's in some weird place
(21:25:08) John: "You did WHAT in a Catholic church?!"
(21:24:59) John: Especially if it's in some weird place
(21:25:08) John: "You did WHAT in a Catholic church?!"
Mulka and me, on proxy servers
MulkaMich (2:31:42 PM): her name is beth
MulkaMich (2:31:46 PM): and she rocks my socks
banerfee (2:32:09 PM): SOCKS 5?
banerfee (2:32:11 PM): Or SOCKS 4a?
banerfee (2:32:15 PM): That does make a difference.
MulkaMich (2:32:29 PM): she's multi-protocol
banerfee (2:32:56 PM): ...whoa. That's kinky.
MulkaMich (2:33:18 PM): oh, man, when she port-knocks, I go crazy
banerfee (2:33:34 PM): Just make sure your stack doesn't overflow prematurely.
banerfee (2:33:50 PM): The last thing you want is a core dump just when things are getting good.
MulkaMich (2:34:25 PM): I hope it doesn't... I think my stack is sufficiently sized
banerfee (2:34:46 PM): I got an email telling me I could allocate more space to it if I needed to.
MulkaMich (2:31:46 PM): and she rocks my socks
banerfee (2:32:09 PM): SOCKS 5?
banerfee (2:32:11 PM): Or SOCKS 4a?
banerfee (2:32:15 PM): That does make a difference.
MulkaMich (2:32:29 PM): she's multi-protocol
banerfee (2:32:56 PM): ...whoa. That's kinky.
MulkaMich (2:33:18 PM): oh, man, when she port-knocks, I go crazy
banerfee (2:33:34 PM): Just make sure your stack doesn't overflow prematurely.
banerfee (2:33:50 PM): The last thing you want is a core dump just when things are getting good.
MulkaMich (2:34:25 PM): I hope it doesn't... I think my stack is sufficiently sized
banerfee (2:34:46 PM): I got an email telling me I could allocate more space to it if I needed to.
Manisha and me, on algorithms
(00:01:25) Neil B: I'll chill in your room and read lecture slides about branch and bound.
(00:02:02) Manisha: oooh that's so sexy
(00:02:22) Neil B: No, dynamic programming is sexy.
(00:02:30) Neil B: That's like hot, slow, intense sex
(00:02:40) Neil B: Branch and bound is rough and seemingly fake porn sex.
(00:02:42) Manisha: will you dynamic program me sometime?
(00:02:45) Neil B: I'd love to.
(00:03:10) Manisha: see, i knew i was lucky to be dating you
(00:03:28) Neil B: You know it.
(00:02:02) Manisha: oooh that's so sexy
(00:02:22) Neil B: No, dynamic programming is sexy.
(00:02:30) Neil B: That's like hot, slow, intense sex
(00:02:40) Neil B: Branch and bound is rough and seemingly fake porn sex.
(00:02:42) Manisha: will you dynamic program me sometime?
(00:02:45) Neil B: I'd love to.
(00:03:10) Manisha: see, i knew i was lucky to be dating you
(00:03:28) Neil B: You know it.
Jeremy, on modesty
Jeremy31337: They sent a Daily staffer to interview me.
Jeremy31337: ...I ended up asking her out.
Emmie5492: she said yes?
Jeremy31337: Yes, of course she said yes!
Jeremy31337: It's me for God's sake!
Jeremy31337: ...I ended up asking her out.
Emmie5492: she said yes?
Jeremy31337: Yes, of course she said yes!
Jeremy31337: It's me for God's sake!
Dan, on the definition of pwned
banerfee: [news article]
Scroblog: pwned(adj)- A Chinese man jailed and badly beaten for his wife's murder has been freed after she turned up not only alive but with another husband,
Scroblog: pwned(adj)- A Chinese man jailed and badly beaten for his wife's murder has been freed after she turned up not only alive but with another husband,
Jeremy, on bad pie
Jeremy: There's no way I'm finishing that. That is NOT pie ... it's like, 3.12
Salman Rushdie, on stating the obvious
Student: What is it like to be a point of contention? How do you feel about people arguing about you as a person?
Salman Rushdie: I don't like it. I'm against it.
Salman Rushdie: I don't like it. I'm against it.
Dan, on what not to do with the Internet
Scroblog (1:25:08 AM): shit man
Scroblog (1:25:14 AM): i need to clear my internet history
Scroblog (1:25:26 AM): i cant type in any letter anymore without like 10 porn sites coming up
Scroblog (1:25:54 AM): shit, even q
Scroblog (1:25:14 AM): i need to clear my internet history
Scroblog (1:25:26 AM): i cant type in any letter anymore without like 10 porn sites coming up
Scroblog (1:25:54 AM): shit, even q
DJ and me, on taking it up the ass
JohDHJ: euphamism*
banerfee: Haha
banerfee: euphemism*
JohDHJ: WHATEVER
JohDHJ: It's a sad sad day when an Indian has to correct a Korean on English :-P
banerfee: lol
banerfee: We have better English than you do
banerfee: ...if only because our country took it up the ass from England for the better part of a century.
banerfee: Haha
banerfee: euphemism*
JohDHJ: WHATEVER
JohDHJ: It's a sad sad day when an Indian has to correct a Korean on English :-P
banerfee: lol
banerfee: We have better English than you do
banerfee: ...if only because our country took it up the ass from England for the better part of a century.
Me, on reaching rock bottom
banerfee: You know you've descended to a new low when you procrastinate at stephaniekmusic.com
Jeremy, on a very interesting EECS professor
Jeremy31337: So I was in the Pierpont parking lot.
Jeremy31337: And I am walking across to get to the sidewalk.
Jeremy31337: And all of a sudden this car starts coming.
Jeremy31337: So I move out of the way so that it can get by
Jeremy31337: And it swerves the direction I was walking.
Jeremy31337: And started coming toward me.
Jeremy31337: And I am like "WTF I am going to die."
Jeremy31337: And then it starts slowing down and...it's Sugih, of course.
Jeremy31337: And I am walking across to get to the sidewalk.
Jeremy31337: And all of a sudden this car starts coming.
Jeremy31337: So I move out of the way so that it can get by
Jeremy31337: And it swerves the direction I was walking.
Jeremy31337: And started coming toward me.
Jeremy31337: And I am like "WTF I am going to die."
Jeremy31337: And then it starts slowing down and...it's Sugih, of course.
Jeremy and [removed], on the wrong window
(22:41:52) Jeremy: Are you in a sex mood?
(22:42:48) [removed]: haha- yes
(22:42:50) Jeremy: Yes?
(22:42:53) [removed]: oh my god- wrong im
(22:42:48) [removed]: haha- yes
(22:42:50) Jeremy: Yes?
(22:42:53) [removed]: oh my god- wrong im
Meghan, on good sex
Meghan6789 (12:15:24 AM): neil i had such amazing sex tonight
Meghan6789 (12:15:52 AM): last night i had this sex dream about the boy i had a crush on in the 10th grade and he looked like he did in the 10th grade and it was just a big sign that i needed a lot of sex
Meghan6789 (12:16:16 AM): and it was sooo good.
Meghan6789 (12:16:35 AM): like, i'm typing that and wanting you to read it in the teen girl squad voice
Meghan6789 (12:16:36 AM): that good
Meghan6789 (12:15:52 AM): last night i had this sex dream about the boy i had a crush on in the 10th grade and he looked like he did in the 10th grade and it was just a big sign that i needed a lot of sex
Meghan6789 (12:16:16 AM): and it was sooo good.
Meghan6789 (12:16:35 AM): like, i'm typing that and wanting you to read it in the teen girl squad voice
Meghan6789 (12:16:36 AM): that good
Sarah, on dogs and datapaths
Starr285 (9:53:20 PM): I have to say, I'm relieved you don't feel the same way about dogs as I feel about datapaths.
Sarah, on personal hygeine
Starr285 (11:04:31 PM): And just think how mastering that lz algorithm thing is going to make you look to the ladies!
banerfee (11:05:49 PM): lol
banerfee (11:06:03 PM): Unshaven, unshowered, unkempt, and generally unappealing.
Starr285 (11:06:55 PM): UNSHAVEN!!! UNKEMPT!!! Neil, you fiend!!!
banerfee (11:07:12 PM): Exactly.
Starr285 (11:07:33 PM): But please, take a shower.
banerfee (11:05:49 PM): lol
banerfee (11:06:03 PM): Unshaven, unshowered, unkempt, and generally unappealing.
Starr285 (11:06:55 PM): UNSHAVEN!!! UNKEMPT!!! Neil, you fiend!!!
banerfee (11:07:12 PM): Exactly.
Starr285 (11:07:33 PM): But please, take a shower.
Dan, on sex with your mom
Scroblog: the problem of me having sex with your mom is reducible to me finding my car keys, and i just found my car keys
Scroblog: EECS 376, although gay, is good CS joke material
Scroblog: EECS 376, although gay, is good CS joke material
Dan, on smileys
Scroblog: im going to start a new trend
Scroblog: spelling out smileys
Scroblog: colon end parentheses
banerfee: colon dash o ... that's a great idea.
Scroblog: B end parentheses
Scroblog: spelling out smileys
Scroblog: colon end parentheses
banerfee: colon dash o ... that's a great idea.
Scroblog: B end parentheses
Dan, on caffeine
Scroblog: i've re-discovered the beauty of mountain dew
banerfee: lol
banerfee: It's gorgeous.
Scroblog: see, i turned into a coffee man for a bit
Scroblog: coffee : mountain dew as vodka : beer
Scroblog: but there are times, when you want to chilax with a nice beer
banerfee: Absolutely.
banerfee: lol
banerfee: It's gorgeous.
Scroblog: see, i turned into a coffee man for a bit
Scroblog: coffee : mountain dew as vodka : beer
Scroblog: but there are times, when you want to chilax with a nice beer
banerfee: Absolutely.
Dan and me, on being understood
banerfee: Sorry, I don't mean to be all depressed.
banerfee: I should go listen to Simple Plan and Linkin Park.
Scroblog: dont forget dashboard confessional
Scroblog: its great to finally have bands i can relate too
Scroblog: man linkin park is soo deep though
me: Nobody really understands me but them.
me: But sometimes I'm talking to someone
me: And everything they say to me brings me one step closer to the edge
me: And I really feel like I'm about to break.
Scroblog: you know, its like
Scroblog: ive tried so hard
me: And after a bad interview, I tell myself that even though I tried so hard and got so far, in the end, it doesn't even matter.
Scroblog: and come so far
Scroblog: oh man you beat me to it
banerfee: I should go listen to Simple Plan and Linkin Park.
Scroblog: dont forget dashboard confessional
Scroblog: its great to finally have bands i can relate too
Scroblog: man linkin park is soo deep though
me: Nobody really understands me but them.
me: But sometimes I'm talking to someone
me: And everything they say to me brings me one step closer to the edge
me: And I really feel like I'm about to break.
Scroblog: you know, its like
Scroblog: ive tried so hard
me: And after a bad interview, I tell myself that even though I tried so hard and got so far, in the end, it doesn't even matter.
Scroblog: and come so far
Scroblog: oh man you beat me to it
Dan, on Christians
Scroblog: i like hardcore christians
Scroblog: they are funny
Scroblog: i saw an advertisement about a video about kids teaching kids that christianity was totally sweet and cool
Scroblog: and all the cool christians wore black, had spiky hair and skated and stuff
Scroblog: see being christian is like being punk, you're both pussies that pretend to be hardcore, but you get high off jesus instead of drug
Scroblog: they are funny
Scroblog: i saw an advertisement about a video about kids teaching kids that christianity was totally sweet and cool
Scroblog: and all the cool christians wore black, had spiky hair and skated and stuff
Scroblog: see being christian is like being punk, you're both pussies that pretend to be hardcore, but you get high off jesus instead of drug
Dan, on shit
Scroblog (10:22:32 AM): you kids these days and your shit
Scroblog (10:22:52 AM): back when i was a kid, we had to take a spoon at take the digested food out of our stomachs manually
Scroblog (10:22:56 AM): you have it easy these days
Scroblog (10:22:52 AM): back when i was a kid, we had to take a spoon at take the digested food out of our stomachs manually
Scroblog (10:22:56 AM): you have it easy these days
Me, on blowing
Auto response from Jeremy31337: Good luck to all of my friends at the Internship Fair today! Blow them away!
At the Fair visiting with my friends at Microsoft, then maybe I should stop by my classes...yeah...that might be nice...
banerfee: Does giving lots of oral sex to the Msft rep count as blowing them away?
At the Fair visiting with my friends at Microsoft, then maybe I should stop by my classes...yeah...that might be nice...
banerfee: Does giving lots of oral sex to the Msft rep count as blowing them away?
Dan, on pimping
banerfee: I'm pimping
banerfee: ...I might even be big pimping
Scroblog: spending cheese?
Scroblog: don't forget to do that
banerfee: Let's not jump the gun here
Scroblog: ok ok, take it slow
banerfee: ...I might even be big pimping
Scroblog: spending cheese?
Scroblog: don't forget to do that
banerfee: Let's not jump the gun here
Scroblog: ok ok, take it slow
Dan, on a good way to go
"I'll die in a tasty way. I think that's the best way to die. Alcohol poisoning kicks way more ass than cancer or some shit like that." - Dan
Megan, on William Shatner
skiesofamber (12:49:34 AM): oh man, neil, I was being a stalker and reading your quote page bc it's DAMN funny
skiesofamber (12:50:05 AM): anyway, I went to a ben folds concert in november, and halfway through he walks backstage and comes out with WILLIAM SHATNER
skiesofamber (12:50:23 AM): and shatner sang like eight terrible, terrible songs
skiesofamber (12:51:11 AM): I don't know if you can call it singing, it was more like a pissed off bus driver on heavy hallucigenics, yelling
skiesofamber (12:51:25 AM): but still mildly entertaining
skiesofamber (12:51:41 AM): and I was so close to the stage, I could see the sweat literally pouring down him
skiesofamber (12:51:50 AM): I almost orgasmed on the spot
skiesofamber (12:50:05 AM): anyway, I went to a ben folds concert in november, and halfway through he walks backstage and comes out with WILLIAM SHATNER
skiesofamber (12:50:23 AM): and shatner sang like eight terrible, terrible songs
skiesofamber (12:51:11 AM): I don't know if you can call it singing, it was more like a pissed off bus driver on heavy hallucigenics, yelling
skiesofamber (12:51:25 AM): but still mildly entertaining
skiesofamber (12:51:41 AM): and I was so close to the stage, I could see the sweat literally pouring down him
skiesofamber (12:51:50 AM): I almost orgasmed on the spot
Jeremy, on autograders
Jeremy31337 (9:44:08 PM): So my 482 GSI today said, "The autograder is like a really bad relationship: You're always told you're doing something wrong, but you're never told why."
Danny, on the unfairness of gender
Mrhappy310 (8:38:01 PM): can i tell you something private
Mrhappy310 (8:38:08 PM): sometimes i wish i were a girl
Mrhappy310 (8:38:17 PM): like when im deciding which locker room to go into
Mrhappy310 (8:38:21 PM): or who to shower with
spark eternity (8:38:24 PM): hahaha
Mrhappy310 (8:38:29 PM): yah, those are times i wish i were a woman
Mrhappy310 (8:38:31 PM): its not fair
Mrhappy310 (8:38:41 PM): you dont want to see each other naked! I do!
Mrhappy310 (8:38:08 PM): sometimes i wish i were a girl
Mrhappy310 (8:38:17 PM): like when im deciding which locker room to go into
Mrhappy310 (8:38:21 PM): or who to shower with
spark eternity (8:38:24 PM): hahaha
Mrhappy310 (8:38:29 PM): yah, those are times i wish i were a woman
Mrhappy310 (8:38:31 PM): its not fair
Mrhappy310 (8:38:41 PM): you dont want to see each other naked! I do!
Various people, with some classic quotes
ShArMa911: They just shoot shit out of their ass in the dark.
Vijay: Wait, so they're not mutant teeth?
Neil: It's in my mouth, so my mouth tries to eat it.
Debater: So what kind of judge are you?
Anant: What do you mean? Liberal? Conservative?
Armand: Indian.
Ray: I don't have a mom. Me and my dad shared yours!
Vijay: Wait, so they're not mutant teeth?
Neil: It's in my mouth, so my mouth tries to eat it.
Debater: So what kind of judge are you?
Anant: What do you mean? Liberal? Conservative?
Armand: Indian.
Ray: I don't have a mom. Me and my dad shared yours!
DJ and me, on my pen0s
JohDHJ: That's because I am superior to you.
banerfee: My home theater is superior to you.
JohDHJ: My computer is superior to you.
banerfee: My home theater is superior to your computer.
banerfee: And you know what, this whole discussion is pointless, because my pen0s pwns everything.
JohDHJ: I'll concede that point.
JohDHJ: but only because you're so cute when you sleep.
banerfee: ^_^
banerfee: I'm so kawaii!
banerfee: -_-;;
JohDHJ: Holy shit.
JohDHJ: That needs to be quoted.
banerfee: My home theater is superior to you.
JohDHJ: My computer is superior to you.
banerfee: My home theater is superior to your computer.
banerfee: And you know what, this whole discussion is pointless, because my pen0s pwns everything.
JohDHJ: I'll concede that point.
JohDHJ: but only because you're so cute when you sleep.
banerfee: ^_^
banerfee: I'm so kawaii!
banerfee: -_-;;
JohDHJ: Holy shit.
JohDHJ: That needs to be quoted.
DJ and me, on living at home
Around 10:30 PM
banerfee: Dammit, home is going to take some getting used to.
banerfee: My mom was mad that I even suggested having people over 15 minutes ago.
JohDHJ: LOL
JohDHJ: you forgot what time it was, didn't you
banerfee: No, I just didn't think it would be that big of a deal.
JohDHJ: Oh.
banerfee: ...and I hadn't even gotten to the part where a girl had to sleep over b/c her mom didn't want her driving that late.
banerfee: :-P
JohDHJ: That's nothing.. the first time i came back home, i kept on forgetting to put the toilet seat down... my mom and sister nearly fell in.
banerfee: Dammit, home is going to take some getting used to.
banerfee: My mom was mad that I even suggested having people over 15 minutes ago.
JohDHJ: LOL
JohDHJ: you forgot what time it was, didn't you
banerfee: No, I just didn't think it would be that big of a deal.
JohDHJ: Oh.
banerfee: ...and I hadn't even gotten to the part where a girl had to sleep over b/c her mom didn't want her driving that late.
banerfee: :-P
JohDHJ: That's nothing.. the first time i came back home, i kept on forgetting to put the toilet seat down... my mom and sister nearly fell in.
Paul, on Li'l Kim
Paul: Li'l Kim is so hot!
Me: She's so not hot. Her boobs are huge globes of silicone!
Paul: So? My CPU is silicone and I love that!
Me: She's so not hot. Her boobs are huge globes of silicone!
Paul: So? My CPU is silicone and I love that!
DJ, on Asian sausage
JohDHJ: I hate exams... I'm thinking giving a blowjob would be better than taking some of my exams...
banerfee: Easily.
JohDHJ: "Hey professor.. how would you like a taste of Asian sausage?"
"You fail the course."
"Well damn. I didn't see that coming."
JohDHJ: hmm.. i don't think my seduction techniques are up to par.
JohDHJ: looks like I actually have to study.
banerfee: Easily.
JohDHJ: "Hey professor.. how would you like a taste of Asian sausage?"
"You fail the course."
"Well damn. I didn't see that coming."
JohDHJ: hmm.. i don't think my seduction techniques are up to par.
JohDHJ: looks like I actually have to study.
Stacey and me, on procrastination
banerfee (3:59:20 PM): lol
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from breakthedoors (3:59:21 PM): sleeping, then up early to contine this insane studying streak... i've learned my lesson for next semester. procrastination=bad.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
banerfee (3:59:23 PM): That's cute.
banerfee (3:59:28 PM): You think you've learned a lesson.
banerfee (3:59:31 PM): Nobody ever learns that lesson.
breakthedoors (6:38:51 PM): lol, and you think Im the one that can't learn a lesson. mr "oh well, i'll just fail." :-P
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Auto response from banerfee (6:38:51 PM): Dinner and then some serious crunch time for EECS 270 lab ... but I really think I can pull this off.
Well, if I don't, no biggie. I just fail the class.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Auto response from breakthedoors (3:59:21 PM): sleeping, then up early to contine this insane studying streak... i've learned my lesson for next semester. procrastination=bad.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
banerfee (3:59:23 PM): That's cute.
banerfee (3:59:28 PM): You think you've learned a lesson.
banerfee (3:59:31 PM): Nobody ever learns that lesson.
breakthedoors (6:38:51 PM): lol, and you think Im the one that can't learn a lesson. mr "oh well, i'll just fail." :-P
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Auto response from banerfee (6:38:51 PM): Dinner and then some serious crunch time for EECS 270 lab ... but I really think I can pull this off.
Well, if I don't, no biggie. I just fail the class.
David, on MIT
banerfee (4:38:46 PM): You're gonna get so much play from all the overweight Asian men [at MIT]!
FirstMilBy21 (4:39:09 PM): thats why i applied
banerfee (4:39:18 PM): ...I mean, you're probably better looking than most girls there.
banerfee (4:39:30 PM): *COUGHPROFILECOUGHCOUGH*
banerfee (4:39:34 PM): Wow, this weather is bad for my throat.
FirstMilBy21 (4:39:34 PM): i'm going to assume thats a compliment
FirstMilBy21 (4:39:48 PM): yea, you need to stop giving head to strangers on the street
FirstMilBy21 (4:39:09 PM): thats why i applied
banerfee (4:39:18 PM): ...I mean, you're probably better looking than most girls there.
banerfee (4:39:30 PM): *COUGHPROFILECOUGHCOUGH*
banerfee (4:39:34 PM): Wow, this weather is bad for my throat.
FirstMilBy21 (4:39:34 PM): i'm going to assume thats a compliment
FirstMilBy21 (4:39:48 PM): yea, you need to stop giving head to strangers on the street
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Sushil, on what really matters
(16:38:18) Sushil: i think this is a clear case of the grass being greener on the side with the girl on her knees
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Dan, on the Internet
(23:26:04) Neil B: If you're a terrorist organization, do you have a presence in the Internet or on the Internet?
(23:26:17) Dan: depends how hidden you are
(23:26:41) Dan: you cant see things in the internet as easily as things on the internet cause theres all that internet in the way
(23:26:17) Dan: depends how hidden you are
(23:26:41) Dan: you cant see things in the internet as easily as things on the internet cause theres all that internet in the way
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Me, on third-grade teachers
banerfee (8:24:56 PM): I saw some of my brother's elementary school teachers
banerfee (8:24:59 PM): One of them was really hot
Jeremy31337 (8:25:04 PM): LOL...
Jeremy31337 (8:25:09 PM): Your brother should hit that.
banerfee (8:25:13 PM): He totally should.
banerfee (8:24:59 PM): One of them was really hot
Jeremy31337 (8:25:04 PM): LOL...
Jeremy31337 (8:25:09 PM): Your brother should hit that.
banerfee (8:25:13 PM): He totally should.
Manisha, on William Shatner
banerfee: Manisha and I were watching Star Trek
banerfee: Original series
banerfee: And we both have this semiobsession with William Shatner
banerfee: And a running joke that he's the sexiest man alive
banerfee: And she was like "Oh! William Shatner! I love him and his skintight mustard outfit!"
banerfee: So then she grabbed me and pushed me down and was like "Take me now, Neil! Boldly go where no man has gone before!"
banerfee: Original series
banerfee: And we both have this semiobsession with William Shatner
banerfee: And a running joke that he's the sexiest man alive
banerfee: And she was like "Oh! William Shatner! I love him and his skintight mustard outfit!"
banerfee: So then she grabbed me and pushed me down and was like "Take me now, Neil! Boldly go where no man has gone before!"
Me, on calculus
Rage Boy 04 (3:52:42 PM): apparently diff eq is something to look forward to though
banerfee (3:52:58 PM): Compared to multi, yes, it is.
Rage Boy 04 (3:53:52 PM): u specified compared to multi
Rage Boy 04 (3:54:03 PM): is that a bad thing
banerfee (3:54:10 PM): It's not something to look forward to compared to, say, a night of wild sex.
banerfee (3:54:16 PM): But compared to multi, yes, it's great.
banerfee (3:52:58 PM): Compared to multi, yes, it is.
Rage Boy 04 (3:53:52 PM): u specified compared to multi
Rage Boy 04 (3:54:03 PM): is that a bad thing
banerfee (3:54:10 PM): It's not something to look forward to compared to, say, a night of wild sex.
banerfee (3:54:16 PM): But compared to multi, yes, it's great.
Paul, on airport security
pcblingbling (10:36:38 PM): NEWARK, New Jersey (AP) -- Baggage screeners at Newark Liberty International Airport spotted -- and then lost -- a fake bomb planted in luggage by a supervisor during a training exercise.
pcblingbling (10:38:15 PM): builds so much confidence
pcblingbling (10:38:15 PM): builds so much confidence
Manisha, on blowing
Krish: So do you have to take it out of one side and then blow the other?
Manisha: No, I can blow both sides.
Manisha: No, I can blow both sides.
Meghan, on deaf people
Meghan6789: so the phone rings, and i pick it up and this old hispanic woman is like "hello, this is the Smith TTD service, have you ever gotten a call from us before?" and I was like "no" and she said "Just speak whenever I say "okay to go" and I said okay and all i hear is typing
Meghan6789: so she's like "oh baby oh baby, i want you so bad"
Meghan6789: and i not only am i shocked that this old woman is saying this to me, but that some deaf person i don't know is saying it is weird too
Meghan6789: so i was like "do i know you"
banerfee: Could be a hearing person, you know.
Meghan6789: NO it couldn't be
Meghan6789: and i'll explain why in a minute
Meghan6789: so then she types and says "come to my room now, i need you so bad"
Meghan6789: and then i said "i'm going to hang up if you don't tell me who this is"
Meghan6789: and she says "no baby, don't go" and i said "ok, i'm hanging up now" and as I hang up I hear this old woman yelling "no baby come to my room, i need you so bad, i want you baby oh baby"
Meghan6789: now, i did some research
Meghan6789: and the only way to put a call through the TTD service is through a TTD phone
Meghan6789: they don't have an AIM service or anything
Meghan6789: so this person was clearly deaf, or had access to a TTD phone
Meghan6789: now, you tell me what sick deaf person goes through TTD to make sex calls?
Meghan6789: so she's like "oh baby oh baby, i want you so bad"
Meghan6789: and i not only am i shocked that this old woman is saying this to me, but that some deaf person i don't know is saying it is weird too
Meghan6789: so i was like "do i know you"
banerfee: Could be a hearing person, you know.
Meghan6789: NO it couldn't be
Meghan6789: and i'll explain why in a minute
Meghan6789: so then she types and says "come to my room now, i need you so bad"
Meghan6789: and then i said "i'm going to hang up if you don't tell me who this is"
Meghan6789: and she says "no baby, don't go" and i said "ok, i'm hanging up now" and as I hang up I hear this old woman yelling "no baby come to my room, i need you so bad, i want you baby oh baby"
Meghan6789: now, i did some research
Meghan6789: and the only way to put a call through the TTD service is through a TTD phone
Meghan6789: they don't have an AIM service or anything
Meghan6789: so this person was clearly deaf, or had access to a TTD phone
Meghan6789: now, you tell me what sick deaf person goes through TTD to make sex calls?
gmalivuk, on math
stare a cuore (12:22:11 AM): i had to explain what the slope of a line was to someone on monday
gmalivuk (12:22:25 AM): i hate math-phobic life-sciences people
gmalivuk (12:23:07 AM): i'm not asking you to integrate a complex-valued function, for fuck sake. the fact that my explanation has numbers in it doesn't mean it's going to eat you.
gmalivuk (12:22:25 AM): i hate math-phobic life-sciences people
gmalivuk (12:23:07 AM): i'm not asking you to integrate a complex-valued function, for fuck sake. the fact that my explanation has numbers in it doesn't mean it's going to eat you.
Meghan, on tech support
Ellie468: It's Mom - How come you never IM me?
Meghan6789: you are never online mom
Ellie468: Can you tell if I'm on Word?
Meghan6789: no mom, word is not online.
Meghan6789: you have to be on AIM for me to know you're there
Meghan6789: you are never online mom
Ellie468: Can you tell if I'm on Word?
Meghan6789: no mom, word is not online.
Meghan6789: you have to be on AIM for me to know you're there
Goodman, on Thanksgiving dinner
(17:30:51) Jeremy: When are you going to eat dinner?
(17:30:58) Adam: don't know
(17:31:00) Jeremy: OK.
(17:31:05) Adam: i hear it's going to be a fowl meal, though
(17:31:15) Jeremy: ::dies::
(17:30:58) Adam: don't know
(17:31:00) Jeremy: OK.
(17:31:05) Adam: i hear it's going to be a fowl meal, though
(17:31:15) Jeremy: ::dies::
Me, on Christianity
Jeremy31337: I went through the torture of ENGIN 100.
banerfee: It's so terrible and irrelevant and wrong.
Jeremy31337: I know, I know.
banerfee: ...if Jesus were an engineer, he'd oppose this
banerfee: It's so terrible and irrelevant and wrong.
Jeremy31337: I know, I know.
banerfee: ...if Jesus were an engineer, he'd oppose this
Jeremy, on handling women
Jeremy: But really, that girl never smiles. It's weird. Whenever I see her, she's always upset about something.
Neil: "Gee, whenever I'm around her, she's unhappy..."
Jeremy: Shut up.
Neil: "Gee, whenever I'm around her, she's unhappy..."
Jeremy: Shut up.
Jeremy, on saying dumb things
Jeremy31337: Ahh!!
Jeremy31337: You posted the Halo quote?
banerfee: ...
banerfee: Of course I did. It was brilliant.
Jeremy31337: Dammit!!!
Jeremy31337: Now there's yet another quote making me look stupid!
banerfee: What are the odds?
Jeremy31337: ...
banerfee: I mean
banerfee: You have a tendency to say things that make you look stupid
banerfee: If you ever run for office
banerfee: This page will fuck you
Jeremy31337: LOL.
Jeremy31337: Come on...Bush has said far far far dumber things.
banerfee: ...damn. You're right. Forget it.
Jeremy31337: You posted the Halo quote?
banerfee: ...
banerfee: Of course I did. It was brilliant.
Jeremy31337: Dammit!!!
Jeremy31337: Now there's yet another quote making me look stupid!
banerfee: What are the odds?
Jeremy31337: ...
banerfee: I mean
banerfee: You have a tendency to say things that make you look stupid
banerfee: If you ever run for office
banerfee: This page will fuck you
Jeremy31337: LOL.
Jeremy31337: Come on...Bush has said far far far dumber things.
banerfee: ...damn. You're right. Forget it.
Jeremy, on why this page no longer has background music
Jeremy31337: Wow...someone is playing Halo so loudly.
Jeremy31337: I can hear the intro music.
Jeremy31337: LOL...I think it's actually not even coming from my hall.
Jeremy31337: I have my window open...I think it's travelling from elsewhere...it's that loud.
Jeremy31337: OH MY GOD THE SOUND IS LIKE EMENATING FROM MY WALLS IT'S SO LOUD!!!
Jeremy31337: Where is this coming from???
Jeremy31337: It's coming out of my air vents!!!
Jeremy31337: AHHH!!!
Jeremy31337: It's so fucking creepy!!!
Jeremy31337: Especially since the echoing of the intro music is just amplified by the metal pipes...
Jeremy31337: Oh fuck.
Jeremy31337: This is going to be a quote.
Jeremy31337: Guess what it was...or do you already know?
Jeremy31337: Your damn quotes page!!!
Jeremy31337: The surround sound...it was scary I tell you.
Jeremy31337: I can hear the intro music.
Jeremy31337: LOL...I think it's actually not even coming from my hall.
Jeremy31337: I have my window open...I think it's travelling from elsewhere...it's that loud.
Jeremy31337: OH MY GOD THE SOUND IS LIKE EMENATING FROM MY WALLS IT'S SO LOUD!!!
Jeremy31337: Where is this coming from???
Jeremy31337: It's coming out of my air vents!!!
Jeremy31337: AHHH!!!
Jeremy31337: It's so fucking creepy!!!
Jeremy31337: Especially since the echoing of the intro music is just amplified by the metal pipes...
Jeremy31337: Oh fuck.
Jeremy31337: This is going to be a quote.
Jeremy31337: Guess what it was...or do you already know?
Jeremy31337: Your damn quotes page!!!
Jeremy31337: The surround sound...it was scary I tell you.
Me, on the 2004 election
banerfee: I need to tell [my mom] that I'm going to Toledo on Saturday.
Jeremy31337: LOL...yeah...
Jeremy31337: That would be a good thing to let her know about,
banerfee: Gonna go kill 125,000 Ohioan Republicans.
Jeremy31337: LOL.
banerfee: Get my 2nd Amendment on.
Jeremy31337: LOL...yeah...
Jeremy31337: That would be a good thing to let her know about,
banerfee: Gonna go kill 125,000 Ohioan Republicans.
Jeremy31337: LOL.
banerfee: Get my 2nd Amendment on.
Dilks, on profitable endeavors
banerfee: My friend who doesn't know you except for references in the Quotes Page saw your last name in the URL of that site and wants to know if there are pictures of your mom there.
oddilks: tell your friend to shutup unless he wants pictures of his/her corpse on there, possibly being raped by me
banerfee: You picked the perfect fetish for the ultimate porn site.
oddilks: tell your friend to shutup unless he wants pictures of his/her corpse on there, possibly being raped by me
banerfee: You picked the perfect fetish for the ultimate porn site.
DJ and his sister, on me
JohDHJ: i just got off the phone with my sister, regarding you.
banerfee: ...?
JohDHJ: sister: so, what are you doing?
me: talking to banerjee.
sister: oh, does he still look up to you?
JohDHJ: me: no, i think Manisha's stolen him away from me.
sis: that's because she can give him something you can't.
me: what? i can give him money too!
JohDHJ: sis: no, i mean, hot asian ass.
JohDHJ: me: i'm going now.
JohDHJ: end.
banerfee: ...?
JohDHJ: sister: so, what are you doing?
me: talking to banerjee.
sister: oh, does he still look up to you?
JohDHJ: me: no, i think Manisha's stolen him away from me.
sis: that's because she can give him something you can't.
me: what? i can give him money too!
JohDHJ: sis: no, i mean, hot asian ass.
JohDHJ: me: i'm going now.
JohDHJ: end.
Paula and Danni, on trick-or-treating
RyokoPorter (2:49:16 PM): try trick or treating in your dorm...see what happens
MagikMaker85 (2:49:37 PM): lol
MagikMaker85 (2:49:46 PM): maybe I'll get condoms O:-)
RyokoPorter (2:49:54 PM): lmao
RyokoPorter (2:49:58 PM): or pot
RyokoPorter (2:50:19 PM): i got cocaine covered twizzlers once
MagikMaker85 (2:49:37 PM): lol
MagikMaker85 (2:49:46 PM): maybe I'll get condoms O:-)
RyokoPorter (2:49:54 PM): lmao
RyokoPorter (2:49:58 PM): or pot
RyokoPorter (2:50:19 PM): i got cocaine covered twizzlers once
Amanda, on statistics
(00:50:38) Jeremy: Oh...what help do you need and when/how can I provide it?
(00:51:21) Amanda: well i have an exam next week and i don't understand like the last two chapters
(00:51:25) Jeremy: OK.
(00:51:39) Amanda: and i don't speak chinese so seeing a gsi will do nothing
(00:51:21) Amanda: well i have an exam next week and i don't understand like the last two chapters
(00:51:25) Jeremy: OK.
(00:51:39) Amanda: and i don't speak chinese so seeing a gsi will do nothing
Meghan, on Greek philosophy
Meghan6789 (10:57:39 PM): ok so i'm reading plato and i get this one fantastic quote i thought you and stiebel would enjoy:
Meghan6789 (10:58:28 PM): "The necessity will be sexual and not mathematical, he said; but sex is perhaps more effective than mathematics when it comes to persuading or driving the common man to do anythiing.
Meghan6789 (10:58:46 PM): Socrates is right on something!
Meghan6789 (10:58:28 PM): "The necessity will be sexual and not mathematical, he said; but sex is perhaps more effective than mathematics when it comes to persuading or driving the common man to do anythiing.
Meghan6789 (10:58:46 PM): Socrates is right on something!
Me, on setting the bar low
spark eternity: would you still hug me if i didn't smell so good?
banerfee: of course
banerfee: that's why I don't know why you shower
banerfee: of course
banerfee: that's why I don't know why you shower
DJ, on the new $10 bills
JohDHJ (9:36:14 PM): I never knew counterfeiting was so rampant that the treasury would issue money designed by Queer Eye for the Straight Guy gang.
Meghan, on being boring
Meghan6789 (6:54:19 PM): the first thing you learn here is that sexuality is pretty fluid
Meghan6789 (6:54:25 PM): no one is 100% straight
banerfee (6:54:29 PM): Of course.
Meghan6789 (6:55:03 PM): and i can tell you that though i can say that girls are hot, i have no interest in any sexual relationship with any women
banerfee (6:55:13 PM): *sigh* Well, nobody's perfect.
Meghan6789 (6:54:25 PM): no one is 100% straight
banerfee (6:54:29 PM): Of course.
Meghan6789 (6:55:03 PM): and i can tell you that though i can say that girls are hot, i have no interest in any sexual relationship with any women
banerfee (6:55:13 PM): *sigh* Well, nobody's perfect.
Meghan, on getting knocked up
Meghan6789 (10:09:13 PM): did you know that david im'ed my roommate to tell her that he was the guy who got me pregnant and she yelled into the hall when i was outside with a ton of my friends "meg, i'm talking to the guy who knocked you up"
Raj, on good drinking habits
rajaholick (4:26:10 PM): i hear tom potti uses jack daniels for mouthwash
Sushil, on the trouble with IM's
SUSH ig UP (4:17:02 PM): are you masturbating?
SUSH ig UP (4:17:05 PM): thats really good
SUSH ig UP (4:17:09 PM): sorry wrong window
SUSH ig UP (4:17:05 PM): thats really good
SUSH ig UP (4:17:09 PM): sorry wrong window
DJ, on handling drunks
JohDHJ (11:55:16 PM): You know.. if you want to get rid of the random drunk girls in your room
JohDHJ (11:55:57 PM): You could say, "hey, before you guys can stay the night, I'm legally required to tell you that I'm a registered sex offender. I have this compulsion where I stay up masturbating while staring at girls while they sleep"
JohDHJ (11:55:57 PM): You could say, "hey, before you guys can stay the night, I'm legally required to tell you that I'm a registered sex offender. I have this compulsion where I stay up masturbating while staring at girls while they sleep"
Dilks, on the 401Keg program
oddilks (6:15:44 PM): If you had bought $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00. With Worldcom, you would have less than $5.00 left. Now, had you bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle. This is my new retirement program. I call it my 401Keg program.
Danni me, on living with others
MagikMaker85 (7:10:39 PM): Is it bad that I want to kill my suitemates?
banerfee (7:10:43 PM): No, that's perfectly natural.
MagikMaker85 (7:10:52 PM): Oh good, 'cause I just might...
banerfee (7:10:55 PM): It is bad, however, if you write that out in pig's blood on their walls.
MagikMaker85 (7:11:01 PM): oh, damn
MagikMaker85 (7:11:07 PM): that sounds fun
banerfee (7:10:43 PM): No, that's perfectly natural.
MagikMaker85 (7:10:52 PM): Oh good, 'cause I just might...
banerfee (7:10:55 PM): It is bad, however, if you write that out in pig's blood on their walls.
MagikMaker85 (7:11:01 PM): oh, damn
MagikMaker85 (7:11:07 PM): that sounds fun
Amy, on good excuses
Emmie5492 (1:27:47 AM): i am NOT a slut
Emmie5492 (1:27:52 AM): i'm just rather unlucky
Emmie5492 (1:27:52 AM): i'm just rather unlucky
Amy, on setting the bar low
Emmie5492 (1:20:20 AM): i feel so smart right now
Emmie5492 (1:20:49 AM): at least i didn't just swallow a staple and assume i could dissolve it with pop like this guy i just talked to
Emmie5492 (1:20:49 AM): at least i didn't just swallow a staple and assume i could dissolve it with pop like this guy i just talked to
Me, on true friendship
banerfee: If you were really my friend, you'd have sex with women and tell me all about it.
Sam and me, on Jews
Wickywoo II (1:53:32 PM): I think Stiebel is taking over your quotes page
banerfee (1:53:42 PM): You're clearly not contributing enough.
Wickywoo II (1:54:22 PM): *sigh* Maybe I'm just not Jewish enough
banerfee (1:55:00 PM): Guess you'll have to go ahead and chop the whole thing off.
Wickywoo II (1:55:35 PM): I don't think your mom would like that very much.
banerfee (1:55:59 PM): I doubt any woman would notice the difference, to tell you the truth.
Wickywoo II (1:56:17 PM): I have no response
banerfee (1:56:36 PM): I could barely come up with one, to tell you the truth.
Wickywoo II (1:56:52 PM): Well, you're less jewish than me
banerfee (1:59:34 PM): That's true.
banerfee (1:59:39 PM): *glances down affectionately* Yeah, it's all there.
Wickywoo II (2:00:16 PM): Glances? Don't you mean, like, *Stares down intently with magnifying glass*
banerfee (2:00:42 PM): Stop being so narrowminded. Just because you need one it doesn't mean the rest of us do.
Wickywoo II (2:01:04 PM): I hate it when you win.
banerfee (2:01:31 PM): You should be used to it by now.
Wickywoo II (2:01:52 PM): Yeah, yeah
banerfee (1:53:42 PM): You're clearly not contributing enough.
Wickywoo II (1:54:22 PM): *sigh* Maybe I'm just not Jewish enough
banerfee (1:55:00 PM): Guess you'll have to go ahead and chop the whole thing off.
Wickywoo II (1:55:35 PM): I don't think your mom would like that very much.
banerfee (1:55:59 PM): I doubt any woman would notice the difference, to tell you the truth.
Wickywoo II (1:56:17 PM): I have no response
banerfee (1:56:36 PM): I could barely come up with one, to tell you the truth.
Wickywoo II (1:56:52 PM): Well, you're less jewish than me
banerfee (1:59:34 PM): That's true.
banerfee (1:59:39 PM): *glances down affectionately* Yeah, it's all there.
Wickywoo II (2:00:16 PM): Glances? Don't you mean, like, *Stares down intently with magnifying glass*
banerfee (2:00:42 PM): Stop being so narrowminded. Just because you need one it doesn't mean the rest of us do.
Wickywoo II (2:01:04 PM): I hate it when you win.
banerfee (2:01:31 PM): You should be used to it by now.
Wickywoo II (2:01:52 PM): Yeah, yeah
Fritz and me, on linguistics
banerfee: What's your major?
banerfee: planned major
Elephant3033: officially, linguistics
Elephant3033: realistically, no idea
banerfee: My girlfriend seriously considered linguistics
banerfee: Then she realized that people only speak English anymore, and switched her major to that
banerfee: planned major
Elephant3033: officially, linguistics
Elephant3033: realistically, no idea
banerfee: My girlfriend seriously considered linguistics
banerfee: Then she realized that people only speak English anymore, and switched her major to that
Me, on being a busy man
banerfee (10:08:24 PM): Well, I suppose I can pencil you into my busy busy schedule.
banerfee (10:08:37 PM): Right between "incessant boredom" and "impending coma"
banerfee (10:08:37 PM): Right between "incessant boredom" and "impending coma"
Aditi, on making compelling arguments
blizzard1286 (9:56:27 PM): now am i quoted?
banerfee (9:57:16 PM): I'll think about it.
blizzard1286 (9:58:01 PM): omg
blizzard1286 (9:58:10 PM): steibel alwaas gets quoted
blizzard1286 (9:58:13 PM): and im prettier than him
blizzard1286 (9:58:18 PM): hes looks like a cow
blizzard1286 (9:58:43 PM): actually he doesnt, he nowhere nearly resembles a cow
blizzard1286 (9:58:46 PM): but still
banerfee (9:57:16 PM): I'll think about it.
blizzard1286 (9:58:01 PM): omg
blizzard1286 (9:58:10 PM): steibel alwaas gets quoted
blizzard1286 (9:58:13 PM): and im prettier than him
blizzard1286 (9:58:18 PM): hes looks like a cow
blizzard1286 (9:58:43 PM): actually he doesnt, he nowhere nearly resembles a cow
blizzard1286 (9:58:46 PM): but still
Fritz, on engineering
Elephant3033: i'm surprised so many people are becoming engineers; i thought there would be less demand for those that drive trains nowadays
banerfee: You shouldn't be prejudiced like that. Amtrak might be terrible, but the east coast has Acela, which I hear is excellent.
Elephant3033: all aboard, then
banerfee: toot toot
banerfee: You shouldn't be prejudiced like that. Amtrak might be terrible, but the east coast has Acela, which I hear is excellent.
Elephant3033: all aboard, then
banerfee: toot toot
Stiebel, on Manisha
FirstMilBy21 (3:46:31 PM): so what are you doing tonite
banerfee (3:48:13 PM): Grad party and then hanging out w/Manisha
FirstMilBy21 (3:48:28 PM): hot
FirstMilBy21 (3:48:38 PM): the grad party, not manisha
FirstMilBy21 (3:48:46 PM): wait, that came out mean
FirstMilBy21 (3:48:52 PM): manisha is hot
banerfee (3:48:57 PM): ...you're done.
FirstMilBy21 (3:51:22 PM): ok, shes not hot in that sense
FirstMilBy21 (3:51:31 PM): cuz i dont wanna give you the impresion that i'd hit that
banerfee (3:51:35 PM): I appreciate your effort
banerfee (3:51:40 PM): I mean, you're trying hard and I respect that
FirstMilBy21 (3:51:41 PM): but i would hit that
banerfee (3:51:43 PM): But let's just move on
FirstMilBy21 (3:51:46 PM): if it was hittable
banerfee (3:48:13 PM): Grad party and then hanging out w/Manisha
FirstMilBy21 (3:48:28 PM): hot
FirstMilBy21 (3:48:38 PM): the grad party, not manisha
FirstMilBy21 (3:48:46 PM): wait, that came out mean
FirstMilBy21 (3:48:52 PM): manisha is hot
banerfee (3:48:57 PM): ...you're done.
FirstMilBy21 (3:51:22 PM): ok, shes not hot in that sense
FirstMilBy21 (3:51:31 PM): cuz i dont wanna give you the impresion that i'd hit that
banerfee (3:51:35 PM): I appreciate your effort
banerfee (3:51:40 PM): I mean, you're trying hard and I respect that
FirstMilBy21 (3:51:41 PM): but i would hit that
banerfee (3:51:43 PM): But let's just move on
FirstMilBy21 (3:51:46 PM): if it was hittable
Me, on sementics
banerfee: Sementics. Irrelevant differences of ejaculate.
Me, on plastic
banerfee: She did get me a plastic cow. I think that counts as a dowry.
JohDHJ: I'd hold out for a 12 piece bucket of wings, myself.
JohDHJ: but then again, I'm a food man.
banerfee: The bucket of wings is temporal
banerfee: Left to its own devices in a landfill...plastic lasts forever
banerfee: Oh, man, that's the ultimate comeback to a girl saying "diamonds are forever"
banerfee: "Actually, so is plastic."
JohDHJ: I'd hold out for a 12 piece bucket of wings, myself.
JohDHJ: but then again, I'm a food man.
banerfee: The bucket of wings is temporal
banerfee: Left to its own devices in a landfill...plastic lasts forever
banerfee: Oh, man, that's the ultimate comeback to a girl saying "diamonds are forever"
banerfee: "Actually, so is plastic."
Sam and me, on Dance Dance Revolution
Wickywoo II (11:30:12 AM): I lost my DDR virginity today
banerfee (11:30:17 AM): Congrats ... Was it bad? The first time often is.
Wickywoo II (11:30:44 AM): yeah, but it got better
banerfee (11:34:19 AM): Once you get a rhythm going, you move a lot more smoothly, and that's good for all parties involved
Wickywoo II (11:34:49 AM): yep
Wickywoo II (11:35:18 AM): It's just the stamina thats the trouble
Wickywoo II (11:36:20 AM): And sometimes the speed
Wickywoo II (11:36:31 AM): I mean, I'm supposed to go slow, then fast, then slow again
banerfee (11:36:52 AM): Varying your speed is difficult, but it's a mark of being really good if you can do it right
Wickywoo II (11:38:37 AM): Well, maybe with more experience
banerfee (11:38:47 AM): Right
banerfee (11:38:52 AM): I've been doing this sort of thing for a long time, so I bought some ... accessories ... to make things more interesting
Wickywoo II (11:39:18 AM): really? my friend sharon uses duct tape
banerfee (11:39:34 AM): I use duct tape, plexiglas, plywood, and carpet holder
Wickywoo II (11:40:14 AM): wow
Wickywoo II (11:40:43 AM): Do you get nervous when people watch you?
Wickywoo II (11:41:59 AM): I kinda panicked and performed worse that I usually did
banerfee (11:43:46 AM): It's happened to me before
Wickywoo II (11:44:49 AM): Did you get used to it?
banerfee (11:45:00 AM): Yeah.
banerfee (11:45:06 AM): It's kinda fun when people watch you
banerfee (11:30:17 AM): Congrats ... Was it bad? The first time often is.
Wickywoo II (11:30:44 AM): yeah, but it got better
banerfee (11:34:19 AM): Once you get a rhythm going, you move a lot more smoothly, and that's good for all parties involved
Wickywoo II (11:34:49 AM): yep
Wickywoo II (11:35:18 AM): It's just the stamina thats the trouble
Wickywoo II (11:36:20 AM): And sometimes the speed
Wickywoo II (11:36:31 AM): I mean, I'm supposed to go slow, then fast, then slow again
banerfee (11:36:52 AM): Varying your speed is difficult, but it's a mark of being really good if you can do it right
Wickywoo II (11:38:37 AM): Well, maybe with more experience
banerfee (11:38:47 AM): Right
banerfee (11:38:52 AM): I've been doing this sort of thing for a long time, so I bought some ... accessories ... to make things more interesting
Wickywoo II (11:39:18 AM): really? my friend sharon uses duct tape
banerfee (11:39:34 AM): I use duct tape, plexiglas, plywood, and carpet holder
Wickywoo II (11:40:14 AM): wow
Wickywoo II (11:40:43 AM): Do you get nervous when people watch you?
Wickywoo II (11:41:59 AM): I kinda panicked and performed worse that I usually did
banerfee (11:43:46 AM): It's happened to me before
Wickywoo II (11:44:49 AM): Did you get used to it?
banerfee (11:45:00 AM): Yeah.
banerfee (11:45:06 AM): It's kinda fun when people watch you
Stiebel, on solving complex geometric problems
FirstMilBy21 (9:57:37 PM): what can i say
FirstMilBy21 (9:57:54 PM): dilks mom just adapts
FirstMilBy21 (9:58:16 PM): her square hole just stretches to fit my circle peg
FirstMilBy21 (9:57:54 PM): dilks mom just adapts
FirstMilBy21 (9:58:16 PM): her square hole just stretches to fit my circle peg
Mrs. Day, on terrorism
Me: So apparently I'm a drunken, anti-Semitic terrorist.
Mrs. Day: Those are the worst kind.
Mrs. Day: Those are the worst kind.
Mrs. Day, on natural disasters
Mrs. Day: The date Mount Vesuvius erupted was August 24th.
Rob: Hey, that's my birthday!
Mrs. Day: ...another disaster.
Rob: Hey, that's my birthday!
Mrs. Day: ...another disaster.
Roy Blount, Jr., on Microsoft Word
"The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'" - Roy Blount, Jr.
Sam and me, on math
Wickywoo II (11:13:56 PM): Dude, I was white and semi-attractive
Wickywoo II (11:14:02 PM): I was the MathCounts stud
banerfee (11:14:17 PM): Hahaha
Wickywoo II (11:16:03 PM): I was like, "yo" and all two girls there visibly swooned
banerfee (11:16:25 PM): Hahahaha
banerfee (11:16:34 PM): It's funny that you think you were so cool
banerfee (11:16:39 PM): And it's funnier that they were actually guys
Wickywoo II (11:17:38 PM): ...
Wickywoo II (11:17:39 PM): :-(
Wickywoo II (11:14:02 PM): I was the MathCounts stud
banerfee (11:14:17 PM): Hahaha
Wickywoo II (11:16:03 PM): I was like, "yo" and all two girls there visibly swooned
banerfee (11:16:25 PM): Hahahaha
banerfee (11:16:34 PM): It's funny that you think you were so cool
banerfee (11:16:39 PM): And it's funnier that they were actually guys
Wickywoo II (11:17:38 PM): ...
Wickywoo II (11:17:39 PM): :-(
Me, on American history
banerfee (10:40:34 PM): So, [the AP US history exam] is tomorrow
banerfee (10:40:40 PM): I'm feeling a little hazy about a bit of it
banerfee (10:40:46 PM): (just 1850-1950)
banerfee (10:40:50 PM): Did anything important happen then?
banerfee (10:40:40 PM): I'm feeling a little hazy about a bit of it
banerfee (10:40:46 PM): (just 1850-1950)
banerfee (10:40:50 PM): Did anything important happen then?
Mike Cassar, on involved parenting
"I hate when my mom asks how school is or who my friends are. It truly is none of her business and it's about as comfortable as selling training bras to R Kelly." - Mike Cassar
Sagar, on Mary Shelley
Megacega (10:40:58 PM): hey
Megacega (10:40:59 PM): what'
banerfee (10:41:16 PM): I'm going to assume you meant "What's up"
Megacega (10:41:17 PM): what's mary shelley's purpose in Frankenstien
banerfee (10:41:20 PM): Oh.
banerfee (10:41:21 PM): Never mind.
Megacega (10:40:59 PM): what'
banerfee (10:41:16 PM): I'm going to assume you meant "What's up"
Megacega (10:41:17 PM): what's mary shelley's purpose in Frankenstien
banerfee (10:41:20 PM): Oh.
banerfee (10:41:21 PM): Never mind.
Raj, on the injustice of lab
rajaholick (6:24:36 PM): why do i gotta wear pants to lab
Stiebel and me, on pranks
FirstMilBy21: what is a good prank to play on the seniors who are at an all nite party tonite at someones house
banerfee: Jewish Academy seniors?
FirstMilBy21: yes
FirstMilBy21: they have a skip day tomorrow
FirstMilBy21: and they are having an all nite party at one of the seniors houses tonite
FirstMilBy21: i was thinking ordering a bunch of pizzas to their house
banerfee: Okay, start opening those spam messages that say "grow back your foreskin," order several bottles of pills, and spike the punch with it.
FirstMilBy21: hahaha
banerfee: Jewish Academy seniors?
FirstMilBy21: yes
FirstMilBy21: they have a skip day tomorrow
FirstMilBy21: and they are having an all nite party at one of the seniors houses tonite
FirstMilBy21: i was thinking ordering a bunch of pizzas to their house
banerfee: Okay, start opening those spam messages that say "grow back your foreskin," order several bottles of pills, and spike the punch with it.
FirstMilBy21: hahaha
Sushil, on women
SUshigUP (6:28:41 PM): garls are totalphags
SUshigUP (6:28:59 PM): they like you to say "oh i likea your eyeses and your pantses are ever so nice looking with those sparkals."
SUshigUP (6:28:59 PM): they like you to say "oh i likea your eyeses and your pantses are ever so nice looking with those sparkals."
Ken, on Saurabh's excessive downloading
Alaskrod: like 50 talks about the nypd
Alaskrod: sharms talks about the fbi
Alaskrod: shot his computer 9 times
Alaskrod: sharms talks about the fbi
Alaskrod: shot his computer 9 times
Monday, April 03, 2006
Kevin and me, on dinner
(23:32:53) Kevin: dude u get my message about dinner tommorw?
(23:33:23) Neil B: Haven't checked it yet ... I was talking to Ashley about dinner earlier actually
(23:33:34) Neil B: Meet at 530 in Bursley for dinner at Mongolian BBQ?
(23:35:09) Kevin: yeah and sex
(23:35:56) Neil B: k cool
(23:35:57) Neil B: shotgun anus
(23:33:23) Neil B: Haven't checked it yet ... I was talking to Ashley about dinner earlier actually
(23:33:34) Neil B: Meet at 530 in Bursley for dinner at Mongolian BBQ?
(23:35:09) Kevin: yeah and sex
(23:35:56) Neil B: k cool
(23:35:57) Neil B: shotgun anus
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Krish, on tetanus
Krish: "Titnas" ... sounds like tit and penis put together.
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